Pink Paranoia
by Purple Luck
Summary: Entering into mid-L skool, Zim becomes paranoid of a girl in his science class after she calls him an alien. Zim is beginning to believe that this Earth girl may not be human either. For the sake of his mission this Winnie Creature must go! Hiatus.
1. Beginning

**Pink Paranoia**

_**Purple Luck**_

**Summary:** _Entering into mid-L skool, Zim becomes paranoid of a girl in his science class after she calls him an alien. Zim is beginning to believe that this Earth girl may not be human either. For the sake of his mission this Winnie Creature must go!_

**Author's Note: **I hope you enjoy this story. It's my first Invader Zim story, so I'll try to update on a regular basis! I know it's a short chapter, but I'm experimenting with short and long chapters. Please feel free to tell me what you think. I appreciate advice so I can improve my writing. Also as a sneak peek, on my profile page I have a drawing of my character as my profile icon.

**Chapter one:** _Beginning_

**2:05 AM Monday **_**Zim's Base**_

Zim growled as he reviewed various files he had created to mark the progression of his mission. The failures such as blowing up the PEG or crushing the entire planet with Mars- and of course there was that horrible plan to enslave the humans by using their stupid holidays! These were all just the tip of the iceberg. Sure, he had stopped the Planet Jackers and Tak from stealing Earth from him, but Earth was still free from the Irken Empire! _How do these filthy savages do it?_ Zim had looked through his records over and over again. He had known the answer for years and had tried several times to erase it. He was just begging fate that there might be some other explanation, but there wasn't. The problem of his mission was the big headed freak, who no one liked. Dib was the only reason these filthy Earth-Beasts weren't enslaved or dead!

Dib wasn't like the other humans. He had recognized Zim as an alien from the start. He was the only one who knew about Zim's secret or, more accurately, Dib was the only one who cared about Zim being an alien.

"It's time to take a more… aggressive approach I think." The Irken whispered to himself. Of course the mood was ruined as GIR began playing Love Love Shine on DDR. "_GIR_! You know I _hate_ that garbage! Turn it off now!"

"Aww…"


	2. Cold Water

**Author's Note: **_Hi everyone! Yup! I'm updating again! Only because the first few chapters are super short though. Just so you know, I'm going to try alternating character perspective between chapters. This chapter features Dib. So enjoy!_

**Chapter Two: **_Cold Water_

**7:30 AM **_**Dib's House**_

_BEEP!_

_BEEP!_

_BEEP!_

_BE- _A hand slammed down on the alarm clock. Slowly, Dib unbundled himself from his warm blankets. He rummaged around his room without really seeing anything while he went to get his clothes and things. He was pretty much blind without his glasses, but his body had memorized the room's layout.

As Dib wandered to the bathroom his thoughts lingered on school. He really didn't want to go to school today because it was his first day at 'mid-L skool'. Unfortunately, everyone there knew him already because of television. To the entire town he was known as a freak, a loser, a nerd- you get the picture. Unlike everyone else, he wouldn't get a fresh chance to start over. There wasn't even a chance to maybe even make a friend. His little sister, Gaz, wasn't going to be there either. Despite her temper, she was someone he could talk to when he really needed to. He was sure she ignored just about everything he ever said, but at least she'd _kind_ of listen to him. Even so, there wasn't a person in town who didn't think he was crazy.

_Crazy. They just don't get it! _He thought. He twisted the knobs of the shower to get the running water warmed up. Dib quickly undressed before hopping in the shower. As the little droplets touched his dry skin; he gave a fairly girlish shriek. The water was freezing cold! Gaz had used up all the hot water in her shower before him. Already looked like it was going to be a long,_ long_ day.


	3. At the Lockers

**Author's Note: **_Wow! Wow! Wow! Really sorry I haven't updated in a while. School sucks. Remember; Procrastination is fun, until you realize you've got three end-of-the-year research papers due next week. __I promise once summer rolls around I'll be more frequent. __'Til then to hold everyone over, I'm posting three chapters this weekend! Yay for you! This one is super short, but the next two will be a little bit longer! Don't hesitate to tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!_

**Chapter Three: **_At the Lockers_

**8:30 AM **_**Mid-L Skool**_

The halls of the Mid-L skool were beginning to fill up with students. Zim himself was looking for his locker. It was 207 in hall F. The alien scratched his head. Zim hated having to wear a wig. He hadn't worn it all summer for that matter. It was nice to have a break from the constant itching, but now it had returned and he had to deal with it!

"Maybe I should have worn a hat and said I had that cancer stuff." Zim said to himself. He had seen it on the Earth news about bald little worm babies. Honestly, Zim had no idea what cancer was. All Zim knew (it was really what he assumed) was bald children had cancer. Scratching the scalp even more fiercely, he took another turn and found himself in a poorly light hallway.

"Pathetic Earth-containment units!" Spat the alien as he examined the lockers. He finally found his locker, but he didn't really know what it would be needed for. Everything he wanted was in his PAK.

"Of course we'd have lockers in the same hall." Zim turned around to see Dib seething in displeasure. "The only bright side is that you won't be able to get away with any weird stuff while I'm around!"

"Pfft! Stoopid h_u_man!" the alien muttered. "Your inferior race is _doomed_ whether you watch me or not!"

Dib opened his more to give a retort, but oddly he could argue with Zim's statement. He finally settled on, "Whatever."


	4. Enter the Winnie Creature

**Author's Note: **_Not much to report except that this is the second of the three chapters I promised. And in this chapter you get to see Winnie! My profile icon is a picture of her for those who like pictures. Well, I hope you enjoy!_

**Chapter Four: **_Enter the Winnie-Creature_

**8:55 AM **_**Hallways**_

The science rooms were found at the very front of the school. Dib and Zim walked on opposite sides of the hallway trying to keep some distance from each other. Looking over out of the corner of his eye, Dib could still see Zim. Every turn he made Zim copied him step for step, except for the fact Zim was goose-stepping rather than walking.

"Stop following me Zim!" Dib yelled across the hall. A few people stared at them.

"I'm following _you_?! Ha! You're the one following _me_!"

Finally, they both arrived at the same room. They scowled at their misfortune. Dib double checked his schedule just in case he had made a mistake. No. He hadn't. Mrs. Suite's science class in room thirty-two. Zim shot one last glare before walking into the class ahead of Dib. _Fan-freaking-tastic…_Dib's bitter sarcasm mumbled in his head. Slowly, he walked in and saw Zim had snagged a seat in the front like he normally did. The room was a typical science class room. Instead of desks there were lab stations with stools, sinks, and Bunsen burners. He decided that it would be better to sit behind Zim. You know, for keeping an eye on him! Dib choose a spot two rows back next to a chocolate colored girl who was resting her head on her books. Her hair was done in bright pink corn rows and it suited her facial structure very well. As he took off his backpack he smacked the poor girl over the head!

"I'm so sorry! It was a total accident!" He cried out! He was nervous she would recognize him from the news or something. His spirits began to sink as he was sure that she would move, but she didn't. In fact, she didn't even acknowledge his existence. That is until she spoke;

"Whatever. I'm too tired to give a crap…" At the apathetic reply Dib sighed. She seemed nice, but of course that could be because she was too sleepy to deal with him. He decided to poke a little further.

"So… Um! Hi! I'm Dib! What's your name?"

The girl rolled her head around to look at him. She had soft almond eyes with a touch of pink. That pink was the blood vessels in her eyes… Dib bit his lip and waited for eminent rejection as always.

"Let's get this over with… Hi, I'm Winnie Woods. I just moved here, my favorite color is red, I hate stupid animals, my dad is a stupid business man for some stupid company, my stupid birthday is October 14th, I'm a vegetarian, and I really just want some stupid sleep now! Okay?" Winnie slammed her head down on her books. Well, someone's favorite word was 'stupid'.

"Um! Cool! It's nice to meet you?" Dib supposed. She was definitely not a morning person. Sighing Winnie looked up again.

"I'll be okay in a little while. I'm just not use to this time zone that's all."

_Was that an apology or a statement? Who cares! Someone is actually talking to me! _Dib smiled really wide. Maybe this would be a good year after all! Elated in these thoughts, the bell rang and an impossibly plump and cheery woman pranced into the class room. It was none other than the science teacher, Mrs. Suite.


	5. The Truth Kinda Sucks

**Author's Note: **_Here's the third chapter I promised! Please read and enjoy!_

**Chapter Five: **_The Truth Kinda Sucks_

**9:30 AM **_**Room 2**_

Zim was biting the corner of his lips. This- This Suite-Beast was almost as bad as Mrs. Bitters. Only she was in reverse! She had started the class off by taking attendance. No. Scratch that. She had sung the attendance. For some reason or other, wild animals of the cute variety came in and started cleaning! What in the name of Irk was going on! After that she made stupid nicknames for everyone! He was minty-chip…

"And you can be Angry! And you can be Dopey! And you can be Little Big Planet-Head!"

"My head's not big!" The Dib cried out in indignation. Ignoring him she went onto Winnie who was still asleep.

"And you can be-Oh! Oh dear! We all ready have a Sleepy!" Mrs. Suite tapped her plum, rosy cheeks with one of her fat fingers. Her small brain struggled to think of a nickname. "Oh! You can be Little Sleepy Head!"

She let out a horrible squeal and clapped her hands excitedly for herself. Everyone in the class had their hands over their ears. Zim's hand shot up to clutch the top of his wig. His antennae were trying to popping up from the vibrating sound waves. Normally, this would have been Dib's que to accuse Zim of being an alien, but he was too busy preventing his own skull from cracking. His glasses were already ruined…

"She's worst than an angry Slor Beast!" The alien cried! Dib had no idea what a Slor Beast was or what it sounded like, but it must have been a concerto compared to the horrible joy of their teacher. Mrs. Suite thought she was so clever. Winnie scowled as she arose from her nap.

"What is that awful shriek! Make it stop!" She cried as she quickly followed along with the rest of the class and slapped her hands over her ears.

"Oh! Okay Children! Now that we have our magical, fantastic nicknames let's move on in our adventures with scien-!"

"Holy cow! There's a green kid!" Winnie interjected. All eyes landed on Zim and Winnie. Quickly, he sputtered out his self defense.

"It's a skin condition!" He snapped around to face Winnie and Dib. "You! You Dib-Stink put her up to saying that didn't you!"

"I didn't-"

"_LIES!_" Zim's pupils looked like snake eyes.

"Put me up to it? It doesn't take a genius to see you don't have ears!" Winnie cried out pointing to her own ears so everyone could see the clear difference. "You're _not even_ human, are you?"

Dib and Zim's jaw dropped open.

_Someone freaking gets it! _Dib's semi-frozen from shock brain processed.

_Another freaking h_u_man gets it! _Zim began to sweat at this thought. What if she teamed up with the Dib? Mrs. Suite quickly, at least as quickly as a fat woman could, rushed to Winnie's side and put a gentle arm around her. The teacher seemed more distraught and unsure than she should have been. She stuttered out;

"N-Now. Now. My Little Sleepy Head! We can't judge people for being- Being different! It's very rude! It's diversity that makes our society so great! Very great indeed! I think you owe Minty-Chip an apology!"

Winnie gave the stupid woman an incredulous look.

"He. Doesn't. Even. Have. A. _Nose_!" She stated very plainly. Mrs. Suite seemed even more flustered. She had never dealt with such adversity in all her thirty years of teaching.

"Now the little darling can't help that! It's his- His skin condition, deary! I think you really need too-"

"If it's a skin condition why is he not in a hospital! What kind of skin condition turns you green and makes you lose body parts!"

"Gang green!" Someone coughed out. Winnie's eyes glared at the alien. Zim had never felt gladder than at that moment to know the names of stupid, inferior human diseases. Of course, he said it and used it wrong, but no one corrected him.

"Oh dear… I'm afraid I- I have to give you detention if you are going to be so rude, my Little Sleepy Head!" bemoaned Mrs. Suite. Winnie turned to Dib, still wearing her unbelieving look.

"This is our _science_ teacher?" the girl hissed only loud enough for Dib's ears to hear.

Mrs. Suite went up to the front of the class room and squeaked behind the desk. Zim noticed how her fatty rolls practically oozed a cross the desk. He felt the contents of his squiddly-spooch rush into his mouth. Quickly, Zim slapped his hand over his mouth and swallowed hard. _H_u_mans so disgusting! _was all he could think as he looked away. At least she was punishing that- that horrible Winnie _Creature_! She opened up a draw and pulled out an enormous stack of unused detention slips. She grabbed a pen from the desk. A few minutes went by as she did nothing. Finally she looked up.

"H-How do I fill this out?" The teacher stuttered weakly. Winnie could only slap her hand over her face. It was too much to bare...


	6. The Reflective Boy

**Author's Note: **_Well, I'm finally out for the summer! I guess I just have to get off my lazy butt and write more! In honor of my birthday, (which was yesterday) I present to you a short chapter! Yes, I'm vain…. But enough about me and my idiocy! Read and enjoy!_

**Chapter Six: **_The Reflective Boy_

**12:30 PM **_**Lunch Room**_

The rest of the day had gone by without incident. Now it was the Foodening of the humans as Zim called lunch time. Of course it wasn't as nearly as long or powerful as the actual thing, but the way the human's slopped up their filthy 'nutrition' into their mouths was exactly like the Great Foodening back on Food Courtia. He stood in line with the humans for 'lunch'. He had been doing it for years to maintain his normal appearance, but today he waited in the hated food line to keep tabs on this Winnie Creature. Zim wanted- no, _needed _to know how she had seen through his brilliant disguise! She stood in front of him casually talking to another human who exactly like her. Their facial features mimicked Winnie's own. It was like a walking reflection. The only difference was their hair. The child had dark curly hair that was fluffed up in an afro with a small red comb stuck in the side. Zim strained to hear what Winnie was saying.

"I wish you wouldn't wear that stupid comb like that. It's embarrassing!" She almost hissed. This identical child looked at her with bright chocolate eyes and calmly responded;

"Would you like me to change it?" Suddenly, Winnie's eyes narrowed. Zim perked up at the deep, dead pan voice that resonated from the small, thin body. He had not expected such a mature voice from a young smeet of a human.

"Really now?" She muttered.

The boy quickly spat out almost mockingly in a slightly more boyish, cracking tone, "Because I'm not changing it for you!"

Winnie proceeded down the food line. Something wasn't right, but Zim just could place his finger on it. These two were nearly flawless copies of each other. Sure all these disgusting meat bags looked the same to Zim, but he had never seen two humans so identical before.

"Jeez. Puberty is not kind is it?" Winnie muttered at the boy's voice change. " Well, whatever." She mumbled as the cafeteria monster plopped some questionable goo on to the Winnie's tray. The girl wrinkled her nose at the serving dish. The squishy gray goo bubbled as it started to run off her tray. "I'm going to eat lunch with Dib."

On her way to the lunch table she dumped the contents of her tray into the garbage. Shaking off his previous thoughts, Zim followed her closely trying to keep an eye on her. Dib was sitting on the farther end of the cafeteria alone, as usual. His looked up and his mouth curled into a big smile. Zim thought he looked absolutely stupid grinning ear to ear, especially when he started waving frantically hailing the Winnie Creature to sit with him. These humans were difficult to understand. It was probably best just not too. The Winnie creature seemed to like his enthusiastic gestures. Whatever atrocious mood she had been in lifted as she sat down with Dib. Zim looked around for a close place to sit. He couldn't hear anything the two humans were saying to one another. Seeing the only place open was next to Keef, Zim opted to sneak into air vent system. _Anything_ was better than Keef! Especially after that whole friendship incident…


	7. Social Suicide

**Author's Note: **_It feels like with summer I've just gotten lazier! Well, here's another chapter along with a big thanks to my reviews and shadow readers out there! I love you guys! Enjoy!  
_

**Chapter Seven: **_Social Suicide_

**12:40PM **_**Lunch Room**_

Dib's day had gone by in a flash. He was still a little shocked that someone had noticed that Zim really was an alien. Maybe kids in mid-L Skool were smarter. The more Dib thought about it them more he doubted it…

Regardless of that, Winnie could be his first friend, other than Keef. Keef was just friends with everybody. And Dwicky, who took Dib's camera and abandoned him to go space traveling. _Lucky bastard…_ Dib seethed as he dwelt on the memory. He wished he had gone too. He was slowly realizing the Earth wasn't really worth saving anymore. Except now he had met Winnie! The incredible person who saw through Zim's cheap disguise! Winnie could be his true friend! Maybe they could team up and-

Looking up, Dib saw Winnie crossing the cafeteria heading towards him. There was no way he was going to pass up an opportunity to talk to someone who would believe him! He began waving to catch her attention. It didn't take much because her facial expression beamed, clearly happy to see him. As she sat down Dib held his breath. He decided to let her talk first and follow her lead on the conversation. He didn't want to weird her out too much.

"You don't think I'm crazy do you?" She said plainly, skipping the 'beat around the bush' part of the conversation. She wasn't timid when it came to talking. "That Zim kid is totally from out of this world! Literally!"

"I know! I've been saying that for years!" laughed the big headed kid. His laugh was stained with a touch of bitterness.

"You really mean it! I've been telling people all day and no one believes me! What the heck is wrong with these people!?"

"Welcome to my world…" Dib muttered. Suddenly a group approached the table. There were two girls from Dib's old skool that he recognized in the crowd. They were Zita and Gretchen. The rest of the group was older looking boys wearing clean cut prep skool suits. It looked really stupid considering they all went to a public skool.

"Hi Dib." Spoke Gretchen meekly. Her cheeks were stained crimson.

"Shut up!" Zita shoved Gretchen aside. She turned to face Winnie. "Alright new girl, obviously you don't know who you're sitting with. We might give you a second chance if you come sit with us from now on."

"Um? Who are you? What are you talking about?"

"Look! I didn't _have _to come over here to rescue you from social suicide! Okay! Now come on! Come on!" Zita snapped her fingers in Winnie's face impatiently. Dib felt gravity grab hold of his mood and pulling it back down to Earth. The only friend he'd possibly have was about to be whisked away to a real social life. _She might even get to go to parties._ He thought sadly. Winnie slapped Zita's hand away.

"I am _not_ your dog! And don't even think you can treat me like one!"

Zita looked insulted. No one had ever spoken to her like that! The prep skool dressed boys began to move, but Zita threw up her hand like a stop sign.

"Forget it! If she wants to be a loser then whatever! Let's go!" The group quickly disbanded, leaving Dib, Winnie and the shy, timid Gretchen. Gretchen lingered nervously.

"Um. Bye Dib." She waved her goodbyes as she slowly walked away from the table.

"Hurry up Greta!" Zita screeched while mispronouncing the poor, purple haired girl's name for what had to have been the millionth time. Winnie just shook her head at the pathetic sight. Dib looked at her incredulously.

"You- You're really going to stay?"

"Yeah. We're going to be friends right?"

Dib's smile was all the answer that was needed.


	8. Got Milk

**Author's Note: **_Because I know you love my little rambles before I start the chapter! As usual I want to thank you guys for reading my story! The only real news is that after the next chapter, I'm all out of stock chapters. (Damn it! Now I actually have to start writing again!) So I won't be updating for a little while. Oh well! It will do me some good! So, until next time! Read, Review, Enjoy!_

**Chapter Eight:**_ Got Milk?  
_

**12:49 PM **_**Lunch Room**_

Zim had watched the whole scene from the air vents.

"You- You're really going to stay?" The Dib-Monkey sputtered out.

"Yeah. We're going to be friends right?" He scowled fiercely as he heard Winnie's response.

"Just great! Now that idiot has an ally!" He slammed his fist down on the floor of the air vent. The shaft gave way to his forceful hit and Zim tumbled out of the labyrinth of the air vents. He screeched all the way down. Quickly, he flung himself over so he wouldn't land on his PAK. He hit Dib and Winnie's table with so much force he bounced and sent Dib's milk flying in the air.

Soon, he and Winnie were covered in the cow-monster product, both shrieking like two banshees. Zim rolled off of the table writhing in pain. As soon as the pain lessened he attempted to get up when a black sneaker jammed him in the squiddly-spooch. Looking up, the alien saw milk soaked Winnie glaring at him with burning daggers for eyes. Her foot kept him pinned to the filthy cafeteria floor.

"You stupid, little freak!" the girl half hissed, half screamed. The entire cafeteria was staring at them. Zim noticed soft whispers of steam from his burning flesh were rising around Winnie's figure making her look terrifying. Zim had never felt so scared. Of course the little Irken would never admit _he_ was afraid. He reached up with his arms to grab her leg to see that his arms were smoking terribly. They had received most of the damage. Winnie hissed again, "I will to kill you!"

Whistles began to sound as teachers and SREBs (skool rule enforcement bots) began to pull a semi-hysterical Winnie off of Zim. As one of the SREBs began to haul both of them off to the principal's office, Zim's brain clicked something together. Winnie herself wasn't really human either. It explained how she had seen through his 'masterful' disguise, the weird looking boy, and why she hadn't eaten the skool goo. She must be a rouge spy for the Resisty group he had been hearing about on the Irken News!

"Just wait _Winnie_! I'm going to tell the Tallest about this! You'll receive capital punishment for interfering with my important mission!"

"The what?!"

"Don't play dumb, you- er you dummy!" Winnie gave him the same incredulous look she had given their teacher. Oh! She was a good actor! Not as good as Zim, of course, but good!


	9. Keeping Time

**Author's Note: **_Okay! I finally got off my butt and wrote more chapters! Yay! A week from next Wednesday, I'll be flying cross country on a trip and I won't be able to update for two weeks. My laptop has wireless, but where I'm going I wouldn't have any access. Suck…. I'll try to update off of my desktop computer one more time before I leave, so you guys have something to read. Thanks for waiting so long for this update! You guys rock my socks and I love reading your reviews! Well, enjoy!_

**Chapter Nine:** _Keeping Time_

**4:35 PM Friday **_**Outside of Detention**_

After the outburst in Mrs. Suite's class and then the event at lunch. Winnie had to serve a week's worth of detention. Zim also had to serve that week with her. Neither of the two were pleased and they refused to speak a word to each other. Both however had the same thoughts; _It's all his/her fault!_

Today Dib had decided to wait for Winnie outside the room. The detention room was a gloomy place with bars over the window to discourage escape. All of the desks were old and ratty looking with various profanities graffitied or etched into the old wood. The two detentionees choose places up front. Winnie would quietly lay down for a nap until her punishment would end, yet Zim on the other hand was constantly twitching. It drove him crazy to be stuck in that room. His eyes would bear down on the clock in a strained glare- willing time to move faster.

Their monitor, a sleepy old twig of a man, only check role before nodding off himself. Dib peaked in the classroom through the window above the door handle. No matter how many times he checked Winnie was always in the same napping position facing away from the door. He couldn't blame her though. He'd probably do the same thing or just read a book.

_SMACK!_ Dib snickered as Zim slammed his head on his desk. The alien couldn't coop with the boredom. From then on Zim held still. It was either because he had knocked himself out or he was just too bored to move. After checking on the napping people Dib himself had begun to feel sleepy as well. At first he had been just leaning against the lockers, then he felt himself slowly sinking to the floor… and then-

"Get up Dib… You're drooling."

Dib rubbed the corner of his mouth trying to understand what was going on. He was eye level with a pair of black sneakers for some reason.

"Oh geez!" Cried Dib as he scrambled off the filthy floor. Winnie had a bemused look on her face. The young boy could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks as they began to glow red. It was humiliating to be caught sleeping, but it was mortifying to be caught drooling too.

"Pfft! Filthy dirt child!" Cried Zim as he exited from the detention room. "Wallowing on the ground is where your kind belongs!"

"Can it, space boy." It infuriated Dib that Zim had seen him so… so stupid looking. Before either of the two rivals realized it, Winnie had pushed the alien boy over and had him pinned under her dark black sneakers for the second time that week.

"You should spend more time on the ground! It might give you a proper perspective of what you really are!" Winnie seemed both serious and amused at the same time. She gave him a swift stomp right in the middle of his belly.

"OHMPH! My squiddly-spooch!" He coughed out as Winnie released him. She smiled sweetly and waved him off, silently telling him to get lost. He glared at her through his fake icy blue eyes. His wig was slipping off, but he straightened it as he back away from the human pair. (He still held his suspicions about Winnie being a Resisty member.)

"Don't think I'll forget this _Winnie_!" Zim hissed at the pink haired girl adding extra emphasis on her name. "You'll rue the day you tangled with the _Amazing_ Zim!"

"I'm sure…" She muttered sarcastically. "At least I'm not the one who's been beaten up by a girl- twice."

Dib had never seen an alien blush before. Zim's cheeks had become a darker green than usual. The short Irken stalked off muttering various swears and curses obviously directed at the two. Zim was barely out of sight when the two burst into laughter, both pleased as punch with their "victory" over the Irken invader. Dib spoke up finally after getting over his giggle fit.

"So what time is it anyways?"

Winnie's amused face didn't falter as she pulled out a pink cell phone from her pocket.

"It's ten after five… You make a good background, you know." Said the girl dryly as she displayed her phone for him to see himself zonked out on the floor with saliva flowing out onto the ground. Dib cursed his bad luck that she had managed to snap a picture.

"Wait? Ten after five? Mysterious Mysteries is on!" Dib seized the girls hand and hauled her along behind him. "If we hurry we can get to my house just after the first commercial break!"

"But I- I need to do something at home!" She cried. Winnie couldn't help but be surprised by his iron grip! She tripped a little bit even trying to keep pace with him. This boy was full of surprises and who knew he could be so athletic- at least when motivated. Smiling, she fell into step behind him. "I guess it can wait though!"


	10. Information

**Author's Note: **_Thanks to all my wonderful reviews and readers! I hope you're enjoying things so far! Just note that literary references abound in this chapter! That's right! Winnie and everything about her is based off of a beloved classic. _

_Forgive me Zim fans! It's so hard to write for him and that's why his chapters tend to be shorter. It really bugs the crap out of me because Zim is __**supposed**__ to be the main character! (Dib! Winnie! Stop hogging the spot light!) I'll try to write better for our favorite little invader. Promise! On a brighter note you get to see GIR again! Yay! Well, Read, review and enjoy!_

**Chapter Ten: **_Information_

**5:25 PM Friday **_**Zim's Base**_

The machines around the base hummed as they preformed their tasks for their master. Though most machines don't have a conscience they seemed to know that their little master was in a particularly foul mood. The main computer gave a sigh as it began running the information Zim wanted again for the _third_ time. The Irken invader was not pleased with the results no matter what came up.

"It can't be right!" his fists slammed down on the control board.

"Ow! Please don't do that sir…"

Zim's red eyes, free from those awful contacts, scanned over the profile information next to a picture of Winnie. He rubbed his sore belly where he had been so brutally stomped on.

_**Winnie Woods**_

_**Age: 13**_

_**Birth date: October 14**__**th**_

_**Species: Human**_

_**Gender: Female**_

_**Relations: Edward Woods (Twin Brother), Christopher Woods (Older Brother), Alan Woods (Father)**_

_**Current Residence: 1926 Sanders Drive**_

The rest of the information that was displayed showed Winnie's medical records, her grades since first grade, her official birth records, etc. Pretty much everything under her name and social security number. It unfathomable to Zim that she had so much information. He was so sure that she was an alien, but all the evidence was stacked against him.

"She _is_ really good!" He said suddenly aloud. He wasn't going to admit that _maybe_ he was wrong. After all when had he ever been wrong? Well, multiple times actually, but Zim never acknowledged any of it.

"Sir, are you sure she's an alien spy from the Resisty. I mean, why would she go through so much trouble make thirteen years worth of documents? _In paper_ too. This Winnie girl seems to be a legitimate huma-" Despite the computer's careful phrasing, his master furiously cut him off.

"Nonsense! She's just knows that she's dealing with the best invader there is!"

"_Of _course…" If the computer had eyes he would have rolled them. Zim could be so vain… and paranoid. Let's not forget that.

"Computer! Where is the Winnie Creature now?"

Quietly running the scan, the computer located Winnie sitting on the couch of a very familiar person. For a nano second the computer debated on whether or not it should lie. If Zim was panicking over some little girl, he was going to flip when he knew she was with his main rival. _On second thought that might be kind of funny! _Computer decided to itself as it pulled up the coordinates and a visual stream from a secret camera in the Membrane family's living room. Dib wasn't the only one with spy bugs. Hardly a second later Zim was screaming at the top of his lungs in terror.

"S-She's with the Dib! How could she!?" Zim cried out. His face had paled to a lighter shade of its normal green. The computer stifled a giggle. For some reason he could make sounds that other machines couldn't. The little master was grinding his teeth while pulling his antennas. The computer was so glad he was recording this for later. Maybe he'd post it on the Irken Internet for laughs!

"Jealous?" jested the computer.

"This is no time for jelly! Those two are plotting my downfall as we speak!"

The computer once again would have rolled his eyes. It was no fun to tease the master when he was so oblivious… Quickly, Zim summoned GIR who was eating pizza up stairs in the main house. When the elevator arrived GIR was nowhere to be found inside.

_CLANK!_

_CLANK!_

_**THUD!**_

"Do it again!" Giggled the crazy robot. Both Zim and the Computer sighed. Zim shook his head as he pressed the button for the elevator to go down lower. GIR was sitting on top of the elevator grinning madly pointing to a huge dent over his left eye. "It was fun!"

"GIR! You're supposed to ride _inside_ the elevator! Not jump on top of it!" Zim chastised. "Now quit playing around and come on! We've got work to do! Computer!"

"Yah?"

"Get the voot cruiser ready! I'm heading out!"

"Whatever."


	11. That’s Normal

**Author's Note: **_I'm back! My trip was fabulous, but none of you care about that because right now there's a new chapter! Yay! After rereading it I had to rewrite part of the middle. It just wasn't working out so hot, but it flows a little bit better! Thanks for reading everyone!_

**Chapter Eleven: **_That's Normal_

**5:32 PM **_**Dib's House**_

In the living room of the Membrane residence the volume on the TV was turned up loud and the currants were almost completely drawn shut. A certain purple haired girl demanded that she have enough light to draw her piggies. And when she gave a command it _was_ obeyed… While this particular child sat on the floor with paper and crayon sprawled out, two others sat on the couch. Dib hand a note pad and pen in hand as he went over the notes he had just taken.

"That was a cool episode!" He smiled.

"It certainly was- interesting!" his companion agreed while stretching from her position on the sofa. Dib realized that this was the first time he had brought a friend home with him just to hang out. It made him feel very warm inside. _Oh man! I haven't offered her anything to eat or drink or- _Dib's mind when into a frenzy as he hopped of the couch to get refreshments as a good host should. Winnie watched him dash off, confused by his sudden actions. Dib returned panting a little with red tinted cheeks from embarrassment.

"Um- Can I get you anything? Do you want- any snacks? Like popcorn or soda?" He managed to huff out.

"No thanks. I'm not hungry."

"You can get me some pizza…." Dib and Winnie looked down at Gaz who was still coloring monstrous piggies. Letting out a sigh of frustration Dib slowly headed to the kitchen to get his sister's snack. When he returned he found Winnie looking around the living room at various pictures and that weird lamp shaped like his dad. The boy was handing off the pizza to Gaz when his friend asked a question;

"So where are your parents? Do they work a lot?"

"You could say that. My dad is Professor Membrane." Winnie 'oh'-ed once he mentioned his relation to the famous scientist. "He's always working and stuff. He has his own column in the newspaper to highlight his biggest accomplishment for the week. You know."

"Yah. Those are always interesting to read. So what about your Mom?" At this Winnie was assaulted by a flying half eaten pizza. "Ah!"

"_Gaz_!"

"Tell your stupid friend to mind her own business!" the violet hair girl snapped. Dib backed off when he saw she had opened her eyes in a hateful glare. Whenever her eyes opened- it was serious. After a few tense seconds Gaz snatched a red crayon and began scribbling furiously into the paper. Though she had looked away the unusual power she had still hung ominously in the air, daring someone foolishly break the silence. Dib motioned his friend to the stairs and once they reached the top he whispered in a hushed tone.

"Sorry, Gaz is- well-" He shrugged to show he really couldn't explain what he wanted to say. Winnie had pulled off the pizza hissing in disgust. A piece of pepperoni was stuck to her face.

"It's fine. Ugh! There's meat on my face!" Winnie didn't wait for an invitation as she looked for the bathroom. She hastily locked herself in. Dib felt bad. She was the first friend he had ever had over. Of course he should have known that with his luck something like this would happen.

Mom was a touchy subject. When his father was around the topic didn't exist. The professor simply ignored it. Gaz obviously used violence to handle any mentions of her mother as well as anything else that even remotely agitated her. As for Dib, he was the only one who would, or more accurately, could talk about it if someone asked. He loved his mother- a lot, but he had come to terms with his grief unlike the rest of his family.

A few moments later Winnie reemerged from the bathroom looking pale. She had gotten all the meat off of her face, but pink cornrows were still coated in sauce, cheese, and mushrooms.

"I'm sorry about earlier." Murmured the girl. "I really need to go home now. Meat and I aren't friends if you catch my meaning."

"Oh okay." Dib felt a little disheartened as he walked his friend to the door. Just he reached for the door knob the door burst open catching him by complete surprised as it hit him in the face.

"Dib?" Winnie helped him up. The boy straightened his glasses, which were now cracked by the way! His vision refocused and revealed Zim standing in the door way with his fist on his hips as if he had just conquered the place.

"_You!_ You three think you're so clever!" the alien sneered pointing an accusing finger at the kids.

"Dib! Tell your stupid friends to shut up!" Gaz screeched. A poor, defenseless red crayon was snapped in half in the angry fist of the little girl. Zim foolishly ignored Dib's younger sibling and continued.

"Trying to hold a secret meeting to discuss your plans to foil me, the great Zim! HA! It will never work!"

"But- we were just watching TV…" Dib muttered. Normally, he'd be outraged, but his head was killing him at the moment. Each throb threatened to pop his head like a balloon. If he got angry well… Gaz would finally get her wish to be an only child granted.

"Silence!" Cried Zim.

"What is _wrong _with you!?" yelled Winnie. Some color returned to her cheeks as she became in raged for Dib. "You just don't go busting into people's houses! Here's a freaking door bell! Geez!"

"That's it! I'm getting the baseball bat!" Gaz screamed.

Zim ignored the girls and continued with his tirade.

"As I said, whatever you have planned will _never_ work! Already I've planted a spy in your midst! You're infantile plans with be revealed to _Zim_!"

The cushions on the couch went flying as GIR popped out of the sofa giggling as usual. Even Gaz seemed surprised to see him. Just when and how did he get there?!

"I's in ur couch, eattin' ur potato chips!" He cried joyously as he munched on a chip that must have fallen between the cushions years ago. Zim face palmed himself.

"Err! GIR! You're not supposed to reveal yourself!"

"But master! You already gots spy cameras in here!"

"What?!" Dib stood up becoming dizzy as he did. Thankfully, the pizza covered Winnie supported him until the spots vanished and the room stopped moving.

"GIR!" Zim snatched his big mouthed robot from the couch and ran out the door. Dib and Winnie quickly followed the nutty little invader as he slung GIR into his voot cruiser which was poorly disguised as a pig. He gave on last glance over his shoulder; "This isn't over yet! I will defeat you and conquer this sad little planet!"

The windshield of the craft shut tight and in a split second the pig disguised air craft disappeared into the distance. Dib looked at Winnie who wore a bewildered look on her face.

"It's kind of normal for us…" he chuckled sheepishly. Looking frustrated, the chocolate colored girl pinched the bridge of her nose giving an aggravated sigh. She was muttering something strange under her breath before speaking aloud to Dib again.

"Honestly, I'm afraid of catching his stupidity…."

"But you can't catch stupidity!"

"Around Zim- it's possible."


	12. The Cake isn’t a Lie

**Author's Note: **_College… It burns! And that's why I haven't updated for almost two weeks. Honestly, this chapter doesn't really serve any purpose and I was going to take it out, but I liked it well enough to keep it. Hey! At least this isn't like Naruto that has filler episodes that drone on for a half of a season! After this we're going back to the plot I swear! Thanks reading. Please let me know what I can improve on and of course, enjoy!_

**Chapter Twelve: **_The Cake isn't a Lie_

**9:45 AM Three Month Later, Tuesday **_**Room 2**_

"-And then you add the baking soda and salt to the mixture and- Oh? What is it Little Big Planet-Head?" Mrs. Suite noticed Dib's raised hand. He gave an exasperated sigh as she called him his 'nickname'. Zim snickered. It was hilarious to him that not only was the bloated beast calling him that, but through word of mouth, his in particular, the whole school was calling him by the name.

"Not that I don't find baking a cake interesting, but what does this have to do with science?"

"Well, Cake is um…" Dib waited for the fat woman to give some kind of answer.

"It's shows chemical change from a liquid to a solid. Also when eaten it can demonstrate the digestion process and teach us about how the body stores fats." Dib, as well as Zim himself, looked shocked as the Winnie Creature actually gave a decent answer. It was also an under handed insult to Mrs. Suite, but every word of it was true.

"Er- Yes! Oh course! Thank you Little Sleepy Head."

"Don't push it Lady."

Zim was confused at why Winnie would save the teacher she, and him, loathed the most. Winnie, despite detesting science class for obvious reasons, seemed to be enjoying herself for once. He leaned back toward the humans who were whispering quietly to one another.

"I don't get it! Why are you-" Dib begin in a hushed voice. Zim's antennas barely picked up on the words because of the stupid wig he had to wear. He tilted his head farther back.

"Shh!" Winnie put her index finger to her lips. "That fat bat said she's taste testing right? I don't know about you, but this seems worth the grade."

Smiling, she carelessly dumped in half a jar of salt to the mixture. The boy bit his lip trying to hold back a giggle. Finally, Zim turned full to look and see the two just haphazardly dumping things into the cake batter.

"Mrs. Suite!" Zim cried as he thrust his hand in the air. The two human's stopped dead in their tracks with a deer in the headlights look. He wouldn't dare tell, would he?! Well, considering all the miserable things they had done to him…

"Yes Zim?"

"May I work with Dib and Winnie?" The two were taken aback. What was Zim saying!? "I'm having such a _hard_ time comprehending this recipe!" Zim pouted the way he knew GIR would when he wanted something. It was worth a shot. Mrs. Suite gave a sickening 'Awww!' and gave her consent after gushing about his 'cute' face. Quickly, Zim grabbed him bowl of cake sludge and his eggs to move back to his hated enemies. Dib glared at him suspiciously standing protectively in front of his friend.

"You _idiots_!" the Irken hissed. He tossed three whole eggs, shells in all, into their cake mix. "If you're going to torture the Suite-Beast do it the _right _way!"

The two looked at him strange before grinning wickedly.

"Maybe… Just this once-" Winnie joked.

Another half hour later the three were watching their "cake" bake. Each of the three was imagining the look on Mrs. Suites face. Zim hoped that she'd explode. Of course they hadn't put anything lethal in the cake, but they did consider it at one point when Mrs. Suite began singing a song about fruit cake for no real reason at all.

**Ding!**

Winnie was the one to pull out the cake. It actually looked decent! It smelled like a dead body, but it looked good.

"Well, now what. She's not going to eat something that smells -" The chocolate colored girl waved her hand around in the air trying to seize the words to describe what she thought.

"Disgusting." Dib poked the cake and gagged as a warm puff of air popped in his face giving him a full blow of the wretched stench.

"Like a slimy Naarshnog?" Offered the alien.

"Yah. That." There was an awkward pause between the trio. Winnie and Zim glanced up from the cake with heated glares.

"If you're human then how do you know what a Naarshnog is? Hmmm, _Winnie_?" Zim snapped. Oh! He had finally caught her!

"It just _sounds_ gross okay!"

Zim wasn't buying it for a second! She had agreed far too quickly to his statement. Her eyes were fierce with determination not to lose to him. He had her, yet he couldn't see one ounce of fear on her face.

"Anything you say sounds gross Zim." Of course… the Dib human would defend her! Zim dropped the conversation, but he was defiantly going to get the Winnie-Creature later. "Okay, maybe if we cover it in frosting it won't smell bad."

"And where are we going to get frosting? Hm?"

"The Suite-Beast keeps a jar in her desk." Again there was an awkward pause in the group. Why would their teacher keep frosting in her desk? Oh! Just never mind!

The group sent Zim to go get the frosting, seeing as how he had a 'cute' face that Mrs. Suite couldn't say 'no' too. It was starting to tick the little Irken off. He was a fierce invader, not _cute_! These filthy meat bags should tremble in his presents! Once he ruled the world they'd understand that he was not this 'cute' they claimed he was! Regardless of his objection, one 'cute' face later the cake was frosted and the stink was somewhat disguised.

"Okay! We have about ten minutes left class! I'll come around and check your cakes children!" Sang out the plump educator. At each group she lavish them with praise about how fantastic they're cake tasted. Zim looked up at the clock and noticed that it was so close to the bell he really wanted to get some vengeance on this horrible woman!

"You know, we could have never have gotten away with something like this with Mrs. Bitters." Dib mumbled. Zim only nodded at the obvious statement. He was to focus on watching their current teacher as she finally came to them.

"Oh! It looks lovely, but-" She sniffed the air around the cake. "It smells a little-"

"It burnt a little on the bottom." Zim quickly replied. He and Dib had nervous smiles when the fat woman stuck her fork into a chunk of the cake. With the cake in her mouth, she chewed it for a second as if she was savoring the flavor when-

"ACK!" Her eyes began to water as she clasped her hands over her throat dropping her fork. Gagging, Mrs. Suite tried toddling as fast as her stubbly little legs would carry her to the trash can at the front of the room. She got half way there when she fell down on her knee and spewed all the contents of her overused stomach across the floor. By this time the whole class had erupted in laughter.

"Did you see that Winnie?" Dib asked the girl laughing. Zim looked over to see Winnie sitting casually on the desk holding out her phone.

"Even better," She chuckled darkly, "This is going straight onto YouTube…"


	13. Victory

**Author's Note: **_Hey everyone! From now on I'm going to start putting these author's notes on the bottom of the chapters starting next chapter. Let me know if there's anything I can do to make the story better. Thanks for reading and enjoy!_

**Chapter Thirteen: **_Victory_

**12:37 PM **_**Lunch Room**_

"Could you believe the look on her face?" Dib laughed out. He calmed down enough to take a sip of milk. Winnie and Zim were sitting on the opposite side of him uploading the video of the previous event onto YouTube from Winnie's cell phone.

_BLAH!!!_

Dib felt his stomach turn when he heard the audio of the video play from the phone. He was sure if he had had a visual he would have lost his lunch too.

"Guys, how can you watch that during lunch? Some of us are trying to eat!" the boy felt is stomach churn again.

"Psshhh! The food they serve here is more likely to cause vomit…" muttered Zim as Winnie put her cell phone back in her pocket. "It's like they want us to drop dead."

Meanwhile on the other side of the cafeteria a little malnourished boy did just that.

"You know- I keep getting the feeling something's wrong."

….

….

"YOU!" Zim and Winnie screeched pointing at each other. They instantly backed away from each other.

"What are you doing sitting at our table!?"

"Your table?! Zim was here first!"

"Screw off! We're going to destroy you!"

"HA! Destroy me!? You'll never even get the chance because I'll destroy you and this pitiful planet first!"

In a flash Zim and Winnie were at each other's throats. Zim wasn't about to let her get the upper hand this time! He swiped his gloved claws at her face. It didn't draw blood, but it was still painful. His shirt was jerked forward and he went flying across the cafeteria. Shrill shrieks rose up from the people at the table he had landed on, which happened to be the popular table. Food and drinks had sloshed all over the place. Zita cried louder than anyone, flipping her hands trying to get the mess off of her new dress.

"Gretel! Gretel! Why didn't you shield me with your head?"

"Um… I- uh- that isn't my name, but- um? It's okay I guess and I- uh…" Gretchen struggled timidly with the words knowing the wrong ones would get her in trouble with her "friend".

"Forget it! Just clean me _up_!"

Winnie jumped up and tried to strangle Zim as he wallowed in mashed potatoes that slowly burned his skin. His vision began blurring and survival mode kicked in as he grabbed something that he slung over his head. A loud soggy smack told him he had hit the girl head on. Her screams pieced his antennas as she retreated back to her table.

"EW! Dead Cow! He hit me with dead cow Dib!"

Zim took a deep, satisfying breath before standing up again. He laughed boisterously with his fist on his hips. Somehow despite never conquering anything, Zim had a great victory pose.

"Stupid Winnie-Stink! _Victory for Zim!_"

This was however short lived as the prep skool dressed thugs from the popular group grabbed Zim by the ankles and hoisted him into the nearest garbage can. Well, at least he had his victory over Winnie….


	14. Vengeance Tastes like Cookies

**Chapter Fourteen: **_Vengeance Tastes like Cookies_

**3:30 PM **_**Winnie's Locker**_

Winnie and Dib headed to her locker, which unfortunately was in the most crowed hall. Winnie was in a particularly foul mood after the incident at lunch. She kept muttering to herself all day about making Zim pay. This kind of reminded Dib of his sister's unusual appetite for revenge, yet Winnie's dark threats failed in comparison to Gaz's. With his friends leading the way in the over crowed space, Dib didn't have to navigate as much seeing as how Winnie would just shove people out of her way like they were leaves on the wind.

"Maybe you should ask to have you locker move into my hall! It's more- Spacious!" Dib yelled over the noisy hallway of students.

"I really should, shouldn't I!" Winnie acknowledged his comment's lightly with a nod of her head. Roughly, Winnie pushed Zita out of the way of her own locker. Zita began to complain when another girl quietly whisper in her ear. The light purple haired girl huffed for a moment before letting Winnie have her way and move to the other end of the hall.

Winnie glared after the popular girls. She traced her hand over odd scratch marks on her locker door. She quickly twisted in the code to her locker and opened it. There sitting on her history book was something that hadn't been there before. It was a pink bag tied up with red ribbon.

"Wow! It looks like you've got a secret admirer!" Dib said. His face paled. _Wait! She has a secret admirer?_ Without even knowing who- Dib suddenly felt very jealous of this other boy.

_(We interrupt this story for a quick announcement: Let's make it clear that Dib doesn't like Winnie in any other way, but friendship! That is all! :We now return you to the plot!)_

Winnie was his only friend in the whole world. If she ever found a boyfriend, well then, Dib could just kiss the rest of his social life good bye!

Winnie examined the mysterious bag she had just discovered. Dib looked at her expecting her to open it right away like most girls would do when they found out they had a secret crush. Rather, Winnie seemed hesitant to open it at first, but she pulled off the cheap ribbon and looked inside.

Suddenly, a huge burst of laughter erupted from the other side of the hall. Dib was confused and quickly looked inside the bag. There were dozens of animal crackers with the heads bitten off. On the inside Dib gave a sigh of relieve. He knew it was selfish especially since his friend had just been the victim of a prank. He was just glad that it wasn't really a romantic venture.

"Hey weirdo! I thought you didn't like eating animals!" Zita cheered shrilly. The entire hall erupted into laughter again. Winnie scowled and crushed the bag of animal crackers in her one hand. Dib grabbed her stuff out of her locker as fast as he could. He dragged his friend away from the overcrowded hall. The laughter echoed after the two of them as they headed to the back. He quickly pulled her out the backdoor and into the chilled, fresh air. She still clutched the crumpled bag of cookies.

"I hate humans…" she hissed clutching the crushed bag in her small fist.

"Hey! Win! Don't listen to those jerks!" Dib tried to comfort the girl. "There just laughing because they're stupid."

"Hm… Yes." She muttered and tossed the cookies to the side. Dib picked it up and tossed it in the trash can for her.

"So do you want to hang-"

"Out?" finished the girl. "I'm afraid I can't today. I have things to do, but how about this weekend we pay Zim a little visit- If you know what I mean."

_Pay a visit to Zim?_

_Pay a visit to Zim! _The light didn't just click on, it exploded with joy!

"Pay a visit to Zim! You mean it Winnie! Oh wow! No one's ever willingly gone with me to Zim's before! I mean not that I've really asked anyone besides Gaz and maybe a few oth-"

Winnie slapped her hand over his mouth.

"I got it! But yah! Let's do that this weekend okay? I owe him for the dead cow."

"Yah! I'll bring all my good equipment! We'll need it!" Dib hugged Winnie before running off. "I'll see you tomorrow! And this Saturday of course!"

Winnie chuckled darkly.

"Just wait Zim… I'll get even for this!" she quietly pulled out her cell phone to make a call.

**Author's Note: **_Thanks for reading guys! You're all so awesome! Funny story about this chapter- Originally there was going to be a dance (You know the obligatory dance chapter that adds _nothing_ to character development!), but I cut it out. It would make a better one shot off to the side. This chapter wasn't even supposed to happen for two more chapters, but I decided- "moar plot nao!" so to speak. Mid terms are here so I thought I'd update before Hell breaks loose. As always let me know what I can do to improve! You're suggestions are very appreciated!_


	15. D1337

**Chapter Fifteen: **D-1337

**6:50 Thursday **_**Across the street from Winnie's house**_

Winnie sat on the couch drinking a soda drink and seemed to be working on homework, but it was hard to tell for sure. Zim scowled as he put away is infrared binoculars. He had spent the last four hours and twenty-six minutes stalking Winnie, hiding in the bushes at the home across the street. Once getting home she did nothing, but normal human things. She got the mail, actually ate food, and watched TV.

"She _must _be onto us GIR!" He waited for his robot to reply. "GIR?"

_CRASH!_

"_GET OUT_!" Across the street at 1926 Sanders Drive the door flung open and GIR went sailing out into the middle of the road. Winnie stood at the door with a golf club- her face twisted with rage. "I know you're out here Zim!"

The alien sunk lower in the bushes hoping that GIR wouldn't come bounding back to him, the master. GIR sat up and shook his doggy suit covered head.

"Aw! I just wanted a sammich!" He tried to run back inside the house, but the club brandishing Winnie sent him sailing again with a stroke that would put Tiger Woods to shame.

"That's it! You're toast! EDWARD! Get the blow torch!" Screeched the girl as she began chasing after the little robot. GIR giggled manically, believing that Winnie was playing a game. Zim watched as the Winnie-Stink abandoned her based. The boy, Edward, calmly trotted out with the aforementioned item and followed after his sister giving an exasperated sigh in doing so.

Golden Opportunity!

Wasting no more time Zim went running across the street and into the house of his newest enemy. It was a normal suburban style home. It was by far cleaner than any other human home Zim had been in, but still it was a filthy _human_ house! His pack quickly scanned the area for any abnormalities. While he waited for the results he did a manual search of the place. No couch cushion or book was spared as he flung things around.

"Hm… there must be an entrance to the deep levels of the base." Mused aloud the little Irken. Thinking of his own home he was about to check the toilet when he saw standing in the doorway a tall, somewhat lanky human male. This particular human was wearing a white collared shirt with a bright red tie that seemed a bit too tight and seemed familiar from somewhere. Quickly, Zim's pack ran a scan on the human to assess the best course of action. The results came back faster than the scan of the house.

_DING!_

**Average human.**

**Christopher Woods- Winnie's older brother.**

_That's right! The Winnie Beast has an "older brother"._

The young man's eye twitched and his smile faltered.

"ALIENS!"

"N-NO! I just have a skin condition foolish human beast!" reaching into his pack, the alien grabbed a metal box the size of his fist known as the D-1337 bomb. He flipped the lid, jabbing in random commands as fast as he could. Christopher was on his knees beating his head wailing and twitching. Zim threw the box. It latched onto the wall instantly camouflaging itself against the creamy mocha colored surface.

"HIDIOUS! GREEN ALIENZ!" Cried the boy in LOL Cat speak. "THEYZ TOOK MAH SISTA! LIL'SISTA'!"

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Winnie had finally returned with a severely bent nine iron in the shape of GIR's head in one hand and the blow torch in the other. Her eyes narrowed upon seeing the destruction. In her presents Chris' meltdown intensified.

"EVIL ALIENZ! MAH SISTA'! GREEEENZZ!"

"EDWARD! HELP CHRIS!" As one brother went to the aid of the older brother, she then turned her focus onto Zim. Casting aside the golf club, Winnie handled the blow torch ready to incinerate her hated rival.

"Um? Er! LOOK OVER THERE!" Said Zim pointing dramatically in a random direction. Winnie's eyes narrowed in irritated fury. "Please?"

"Zim. You're stupid little tricks aren't going to work on me. I'm smart. _I'm_ not an idiot like everyone else on this God forsaken dirtball! You'll have to do bett-_ER_!" Winnie reeled back as GIR once again came to save the day by latching onto the girl's perfect pink corn row to swing around like he was in a rodeo. Zim took his chance to escape from the humans. He called for his voot cruiser by remote control. He hopped in secret agent style wasting no time!

_CRASH! _

GIR came soaring out of the Woods' residence yet again- landing perfectly in the cruiser next to Zim just as he took off to the sky. Talk about a convenient getaway!

**Author's Note:** _Okay! I had written part of this chapter before Tiger Woods' accident so I swear I'm not trying to be a total douche! (Although I had a good chuckle when I first wrote it because Winnie shares the same last name and she seems to be very adept at golf.) I'm super sorry I haven't updated in forever! School is a pain in the butt. I've had about twelve group projects this semester- all of which I got stuck doing most or all of the work and now I have finals next week. The only exam I'm worried about is my World Lit. because I have to write about fourteen pages worth of essay before this Friday. Long story short I hit a wall and decided to screw off for a bit! So I'll try to update again after I've finished all my finals. :D Until then I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing this one!_


	16. The Time is Now

**Chapter Sixteen:** _The Time is Now_

**2:30 PM Friday **_**History Class Room 5150**_

"He's _still_ trying to prove you're an alien? Doesn't he know when to give up?!" Dib said in disbelief which was actually quite hypocritical considering how long _he_ had been chasing after Zim.

"Yah! What's worst is his little robot showed up _inside_ my house!" Winnie bemoaned. "That thing kept trying to get in my refrigerator too!"

"GIR is mostly harmless, Winn."

"Downfalls come from the places you don't watch."

He couldn't argue with that. For the past half hour the two had a study hall rather than an actually lesson. Apparently their teacher was busy crying his eyes out under his desk. Something about his wife cheating on him and a nightmare involving a spider monkey and a whale…. Whatever.

"Let's go tonight. I'm not waiting any longer." Winnie announced abruptly.

"Really? But Gaz wanted me to-"

"You are going with me. Aren't you Dib?" The girl pursed her lips in an impatient and slightly out of character pout. Dib shied back. He had to choose between the wrath of his sister and potentially upsetting his only friend.

"Maybe I can do her chore really fast."

"Good. We'll meet just outside the cul-de-sac at Zim's place tonight at six. That should give you time to do whatever it is your sister wants right?"

"Right." He chuckled nervously. A hand clamped down on Dib's shoulder causing the boy to jump. It was their grieving teacher with dark circles under his teary eyes.

"Watch it boy! *Sniff* She's got the eyes of m-m *sniff* my wife! She'll use you! Use you for all your worth and leave you like Edith left me! *sniff*" He patted Dib's shoulder and sulked off to his desk again to sulk. Winnie's mouth was agape with a face that was attempting to express the proper response, but it just couldn't do furious, shocked, and befuddled all together.

"The hell was that about!?" She finally sputtered out in absolute disbelieve!

**Author's Note:** _The Holidays were lovely yes? Thanks to all of my reviews and reads. I hope you had fantastic holidays and I hope you enjoyed this somewhat random chapter! Well, I'm finally able to sit down a type, but that might be really hard because I got a brand new tablet for my computer! Yay! Now I can draw without the eraser flakes everywhere and save trees. Sorry this chapter is so short! And I know that you want to get to the climax, but um... er...HOLY DISTRACTIONS READERS! LOOK! IT'S BURT WARD OVER THERE! *runs like a coward*  
_


	17. Humans

**Chapter Seventeen: Humans**

**6:20 PM **_**Zim's Base**_

The computer hummed fairly noisily as it worked on analyzing all of the data Zim had collected the day before. This was a sign that there was a lot of information- more than a scan of a simple human house would offer. Most of the day the Winnie-Stink had been quite. The girl even had audacity to shot him, the _Amazing_ Zim, dirty looks. Her face looked like stone, but her eyes raged with an intense fire. No doubt she was planning her vengeance.

"Computer once you're done with the Winnie's data give me a call right away. I have to step out, but this information is top priority." The little alien had an errand to run. GIR had insisted on renting another movie, much to his master's displeasure considering the last time. Long story short, Zim caved in and let GIR watch his stupid human sci-fi film call _Dudes in Blue_. However, this time he was returning it early and before closing time at the mall. The security drone was _way_ too into his job…

GIR, thankfully, was sleeping on the couch in a sugar coma. There wouldn't be any crying this time. Zim place the DVD back in its container and headed out the door. With the change in season things had gotten colder. Zim could see his breath as the moister flew from his mouth forming a little cloud. He hated this stupid planet! It changed seasons faster than any other world he knew! It always went from one extreme to the next too. What a wonder anything could possibly live on this rotten filth ball! Once he conquered it he'd probably turn it into an Irken boot factory planet or maybe a-

"OHPMH!" the little Irken fell back flat on his butt. "Oh! Watch where you're going human! You dare mess with _me_!"

"You alien freak!" looking up Zim saw the creature he ran into was Winnie. She had also been knocked back on her butt. Dark circles highlighted under her eyes and she seemed out of breath. Her eyes shifted over anything in front of her, taking in the situation. They locked in on her target. Anger filled her voice, "You hurt my brother!"

Before he knew it she had leap up and tackled him. He struggled against her as she tried to pin him down. She didn't seem as strong today, but she still overtook him. His wig had fallen off during the scuffle letting Winnie take advantage by grabbing one of his overly sensitive antennas. Reluctantly, the alien let out a growl as girl yanked on his head.

"What did you do to him?! You jerk!"

"Zim did nothing!"

"Liar!" It felt as if his antenna was going to be ripped right off his head. Despite being in public he unleashed his extra mechanical legs, tossing Winnie off of him. Getting up the girl stuttered before managing her speech, "Holy shit!"

Zim loomed above her, angry and menacing like a spider. Making use of his PAK's appendages he knocked Winnie back and effectively pinned her to a fence.

"Now Winnie-Filth! You can lie to me anymore!" A red light scanned over the girl who held a deer in the headlights look. The results came almost immediately. Zim's face fell as his PAK informed him-

**Average human.**

**Winnie Woods- Adversarial and a threat**

"But… But how?" Something had to be wrong with his PAK. He ran a quick systems check only to find it running 100% normally. He had been so sure she was extra terrestrial. "You're- human. It doesn't make sense."

Without a response Winnie, having a moment to regain herself, ripped the part of her shirt were she was being tacked to the fence. Hastily escaping, the girl ran away as quickly as she could which happened to be right back towards Zim's base. He gave pursuit after her. Even if she was human she was still his enemy! Zim turned another street corner, his street corner. There wasn't hide nor hair of Winnie, but at the end of the cul-de-sac the door to his radioactive green house was swung wide open, the gnomes were over turned, and the robot parents were in pieces at the door step.

Before he could even set foot in his house the computer sent him a distress signal. "Zim! Winnie and Dib are going to shut me do-BZZT!"

The Invader was being invaded.

**Author's Note:** _Holy cow! Two updates in one break? The world must be ending- oh wait it's just the story! That's right! Welcome to the beginning of the end! Well, my classes begin the 11__th__ this month and considering I've got three English classes and a computer programming course, fanfiction is the last thing I'll be writing. _

_Fortunately, I've only got two or three more chapters to write PLUS the three I wrote for the end before I wrote anything else! Those last three chapters had been what inspired this whole mess. Anyways, as always I hope you've enjoyed and please leave me a review to let me know what you think of it all so far!_


	18. Busted

**Chapter Eighteen: Busted**

**6:24 PM **_**Zim's Base**_

Dib sat in the shrubs on the verge of Zim's cul-de-sac. He checked his watch again.

18:24

He had brought his new watch that kept military time. His father, as busy as he was, sent it to him as a birthday gift. Of course Dib had never worn it before. He was afraid the laser would go off by accident… Peering through the bushes Dib glimpsed Zim leaving his base. He shrunk deeper in the foliage as his alien nemesis goose stepped past him unaware and seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

18:25

Where was Winnie? She's super late! This was even the perfect opportunity! Zim was out doing who knows what! It really pissed him off too. She had made it such a point to go Zim's tonight at six. No exceptions! He had even hurried through his chores- or rather Gaz's chores. Grumbling Dib snagged up his gear. He knew it was just too good to be true. Why would anyone want to go infiltrate an alien base with him? Not willing to waste the ideal moment, he was going without-

"Dib!"

"Winnie!" cried the boy spinning on his heel to greet her. She looked a little tired and out of breath. "Where have you been?"

"Sorry. I had some trouble. Not to mention that stupid delivery was late to my house." She wiped the sweat from her brow with her forearm. Reaching into her black bag, she pulled out two headsets and a bunch of round disks that looked like touch lights. She handed him a headset. Dib had to admit it was a nice headset. It was so sleek and well put together. He couldn't find one joint or panel, yet the headset worked perfectly!

"Where did you get-"

"Let's leave it at I cashed in on a few favors. Now hurry up and let's go!" A whimsical smirk played on the soft mocha lips of the girl and she was off dashing towards the alien base. Suddenly, a fear gripped Dib. He bolted after his over enthusiastic friend.

"Wait! The gnomes!"

Too late! The girl was already in the yard and with their out stretched arms the gnomes moved in. Taking one of the disks she placed it on the closest defense gnome and pressed the big button. Electricity illuminated the gloam skies and _PLOP_! The guard fell over. With careful aim Dib used the laser in his watch for the first time. He hit his target spot on, blowing a chunk of the tacky lawn decoration's face off. Together the human team added numbers to the inorganic body count frying and blasting whatever was hostile! The little struggle was a rush of adrenaline for Dib! To him the moment seemed poetic simply because it was not just him for a change.

"Welcome home Son!" The door opened to the base. There was an awkward pause as the last of the outside defenses fell. The robotic adults seemed to stare at the two children with their fake glassy eyes.

Winnie raised a questioning eyebrow as if to say, _Seriously. People are supposed to believe those are humans?_

"Well! You kids sure worked up an appetite! How about you brush your teeth!" The "mother" changed her hand for an over sized chainsaw. Dib and Winnie backed up on instinct. Both were shocked at how massive the tool was! Where did the robot even keep it? That thing was almost as big as the house! Winnie tossed one of the disks at the parents. Reacting quickly Dib fired his laser.

_BOOM!_

Both shielded their faces from the rushing heat and air of the explosion. Dib peeked up. The robot parents were in pieces on the front door step. He sighed a relief.

"Nice shot!" Winnie praised. Neither questioned what happened to the gigantic chain saw which had gone flying and landed in some unfortunate man's swimming pool. Quickly, the two entered the base on their guard. GIR snoozed peacefully on the couch despite the ungodly amount of noise. After a moment they relaxed. "Alright so how do we get down to the main base?"

"I think there's an entrance under that side table." Dib pointed out. Leading the way he took the first step.

"NONE SHALL PASS MY DOOMY WRATH!" GIR had woken up and for a rare event actually was fulfilling a SIR's purpose. Winnie pulled out one of her discharging disk, but her companion beat her to the attack by slinging a taco sack into the furthest corner. "TACOS!"

The robot returned to its normal insanity and went for the bait. Winnie gave a nod of approval despite seeming confused and the descended to the lower levels of the hideout.

"So why were you late?" Dib asked about half way down to the main portion of the base. Winnie didn't look at him as she observed her surroundings. The boy knew she heard him, but something about her changed once they had gotten in the elevator. She seemed to be think about her answer or if she should answer at all.

"My brother was giving me fits. Zim's little visit left him- unsettled. He won't stop screaming about the alien." She finally responded.

"Edward believes in aliens too? You should have brought him!"

"I meant Chris and no. He's a tad unstable at the moment."

A silence fell across them again until the elevator reached the bottom. Winnie and Dib both looked out of the elevator in opposite directions. Once they acknowledged the coast was clear they whispered to one another in hushed tones.

"Okay, Dib. You lead the way since you know the base's layout. Do you know where Zim's main control room is?"

After nodding yes the two quickly took off down the halls. They only encountered a few guard robots which Winnie handled with unusual speed and dexterity that she hadn't exhibited before. Dib figured that it was all the adrenalin rushing in their bodies. He noted he was running a bit faster than usual too. Saying he was excited was the understatement of the year! They were going to do it! Really! Honestly do it! They were going to take down Zim and save the Earth. The duo rounded the corner and GIR was there playing with a piggy in the computer room.

"How? When did he-?" Winnie babbled.

"Pig and me took the stairs." GIR grinned as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. Winnie growled in frustration, clenching her fists, as the robot skipped out carrying the pig on his head.

"Enough of this idiocy! Come on Dib. We've got work to do." Together the two walked to the large control panel in front of the computer. The computer hummed gently like a purring cat. Dib was in awe on the complexity. He'd seen the control room before, but never had time to look it extensively. Everything was labeled clearly in Irken. Dib had looked at some of the symbols before, but he wasn't well versed in their meanings.

"This is amazing." He breathed with an almost reverent tone.

_CHING!_

Dib looked up at the hostile noise. His partner had slammed some kind of device into one of the ports on the panel.

"What are you doing! We have no idea what could happen!"

"HEY!" the computer's voice snapped in surround sound. "Stop! That tickles! No! No! Zim! Winnie and Dib are going to shut me do-BZZT!"

The screen fuzzed static before going black. Soon the whole base plunged into darkness. A clank could be heard far off as the backup generators kicked in. The room was now bathed in a red light.

"Damn. It sent a distress signal to Zim." The girl click a button on the side of the square shaped cartridge and a panel and screen unfolded.

Dib was scared and, worse; he didn't want to admit that Winnie was not just some girl. Despite the main power being shut off she was working from the device's small monitor glowing in its brilliant blue light. She scrolled through strings of code in Irken as if she was a hot knife through butter. He didn't know what she was doing, but the girl was now in her own little world. Was she just looking at it or did she know what she was doing? She seemed to know. If she did then how could she possible have such knowledge?

"Win…" the boy's throat felt dry. He couldn't believe what he was going to ask. "Winnie are-"

"YOU FILTHY HUMANS!"

Busted!

**Author's Note:** *Wheeze! Pant!* I-I'm not dead yet! School wiped the floor with me this semester. I passed all my classes though, but man it was tough. I worked on this chapter way to long, but in fairness I had to write four creative short stories at least five to seven pages each for my creative writing class and a whole bunch of essays and projects. I'll be honest Programming whipped me half way through and I _had_ to give it up. The class was for beginners, but it was being taught like an intermediate course. Only three were left in the class by the end and all three of them we already skilled in programming. D: All of this just kept getting in my way and I had to write in little chunklets for this chapter. Now I'm free and plan on finishing the story as soon as I can. Yay!


End file.
